Taliyah's Little Rocksucker
by DankMemezMeltSteelBeams
Summary: Shunned by the fanbase for being a useless champ, Taliyah stoops to desperate measures to gain attention. Teemo is all too happy to help. Finally, we can answer the question that fan's have truly been craving: What do Taliyah's feet smell like?


It's never fun being the odd one out, the person nobody really cares about. So obscure and forgotten that the existence of which is honestly quite questionable. The person who strives to do right but can never see their personal sacrifices take shape.

These melancholy thoughts ran through Taliyah's head as she made her way to top lane. She clearly wasn't a top laner but nobody knew what role she played. This happened more times than she'd like to admit, too many times.

Taliyah was getting desperate for attention. At this point, she would even accept bad publicity just to get the spotlight on her but she had her limits. She learned these limits quite quickly when heeding advice from Tristana.

"You want people to notice you… uhh..." Tristana drifted off.

"Taliyah." Taliyah stated, trying not to show offense. "And yes, I need help! Whatever it takes for people to notice me."

"Anything?" Tristana said, "You're pretty cute for a nobody. You could do what I do and make your name by torturing cute pathetic men."

"Torture!?" Taliyah jumped.

"Well it's not EXACTLY torture. I just cram my dick up their ass until their organs nearly explode and tell them how useless they are. Works every time." Tristana smiled.

"I would never do that to any poor soul and wait... you have a pen-!?" Taliyah shouted.

Tristana's arm swung up and clasped Taliyah's mouth shut. "Just a slip of the tongue, Tal-tard" Tristana said, sweating bullets, "What I meant to say was… I am a peg pro, I rail those guys so hard that my strap-on that it's even worse than the real-deal.

"This sounds very unethical… and um… I've never… 'done it' before." Taliyah's face was getting red.

Tristana looked pleased. "Let's do it! Right here, right now. I'll show you the ropes, literally! Just you and me, a girl and a gu- err, other girl pounding each other in public, that's the easiest way to garner attention! I'll go easy on your organs, now open up and prepare for heaven… Well maybe not exactly like heaven, it will probably burn and tear your internals and you might scream a lot but I'll bathe you in cream." Tristana started rubbing her tits and moaning. "Taliyah…

Taliyah…

Yes…

...

Huh? Taliyah?"

But Taliyah was gone, she made a beeline across the rift as far away from Tristana as possible.

She now found herself in top lane. Tristana's words (and failed advances) ran through Taliyah's head over and over. How could she do something so horrible just for the benefit of herself? These questions pounded at her psyche as she saw a different yordle off in the distance.

It was Teemo.

The Swift Scout hadn't noticed her yet. Teemo was in his own little world sitting on the ground happily playing with a mushroom in top lane waiting for the game to start. He remembered a nursery rhyme and a special game his father used to play with him in private when he was young. He sang to himself,

"Soft mushroom, warm mushroom,

Little ball of spores,

Happy mushroom, horny mushroom,

Fuck me like a who-"

"Oh, um… Hello" Taliyah said nervously, eyeing up the furry creature.

Teemo looked up and saw what he described as the most beautiful dark-skinned woman to ever live. The beauty and slender elegance of Taliyah's figure gave off a hypnotic trance as her movements, ever so calmly graced the earth. Her unkempt bushy eyebrows bounced with her stride, leaving Teemo to wonder what was going on downstairs. Teemo's basement was already flooding. He was completely entranced.

"H-hi…" Teemo stammered, trying not to drool at the golden-brown beauty.

"Are you okay?" Taliyah asked, being completely innocent of what was festering in Teemo's mind.

"Yeah, everything is great!" Teemo stated, "But you don't look too good… what's wrong?"

"I want to be noticed but I've learned that the burden would just be too much. Get this, apparently I have to uh… force a lot of discomfort on a 'cute disadvantaged male' to get attention."

Teemo's ears perked up. He's never been dommed by a minority before and this one was perfect. "I dunno if I'm 'cute' but I can be your footstool, your rise to fame!"

"No, no no..." Taliyah trailed off, "I really don't want to hurt anybody."

"It's fine!" Teemo proclaimed as his big eyes and blank smile showed a dark eternal void of emptiness, "...I was created to suffer."

"I'm sorry Teemo but you're too nice and cute for me to do that." Taliyah was concerned for the widely-hated yordle. "You're not bad, you're good."

"NO!" Teemo screamed in his head, "She'll never hate me at this rate, I gotta come up with a strategy here."

A smart-ass grin formed on Teemo's mouth. "Such a shame Taliyah" he said disappointedly, "A goody-two-shoes character archetype is just SO boring, talk about a self-insert character. I'm already yawning just looking at you. You can leave, preferably now."

"What?" Taliyah's smile dropped. Teemo managed to hone in on her sensitivity quite quickly and was already turning the knife.

"Pathetic, dull, boring." Teemo repeated, "No outstanding physical features, ear-grating voice, typical pandering to equality groups, I've seen it all."

Teemo was lying through his teeth, Taliyah was absolutely beautiful to him. In Teemo's sick, twisted world, hatred from Taliyah was interpreted as heartfelt warmth to him.

"Grrrrrrr…" Taliyah grumbled, "You're lying, I am important! I have a purpose here!"

"Tal baby, I hate to break this to you but...your play-rate is worse than AP Garen."

Taliyah sniffled. "T-that's not true! Here, look." She pulled out her phone and logged onto Reddit. "See Teemo, I have fans! Look at the really nice and flattering Reddit post that one of my mains wrote about me!" r/TaliyahMains/comments/8jk5jh/as_someone_with_a_foot_fetish_i_cant_help_but/

Teemo blinked. That post seemed vaguely familiar. He might have posted it once while he was on a shroom-fueled jerk session. It didn't matter. He could weaponize it now. "That was blatantly a troll, Taliyah, you're so pathetic that people are TROLLING when they say they have any interest in you!"

Taliyah growled and started grinding her teeth. Teemo grinned. Now to keep pushing like a Nasus desperate for Q stacks.

"Your chest is as flat as the earth you command."

Taliyah stomped the ground, causing the earth to shake, but not her cleavage. "Shut up…." she threatened in a low voice. Teemo's nether regions trembled in mounting arousal. "And worst of all..." Teemo cocked his head to the side and smiled with crooked, pointy teeth, "...Yasuo mentioned how your face was too ugly to take advantage of you during training."

Taliyah seized up. N-no, not master Yasuo! He had been the object of her girlhood fantasies those cold nights in the desert. She knelt to the ground, sobbing and broken. "Oh fuck yeah that's hot," Teemo licked his lips and rubbed his lil' bulgy wulgy as he walked towards her. "Come on you stone cold-bitch, surely you've got a little fight in you still." He extended a greasy, slimy hand to catch and lick up some of her delicious tears.

Taliyah opened her eyes wide and glared at him. "No more," she said quietly. With a snap of her fingers, the earth rose up behind Teemo and formed shackled around his wrists, dragging him to his knees.

"I have learned one thing from Yasuo…" Taliyah stated, "and that's to punish your target when they step out of line."

Taliyah turned around and derobed, exposing her surprisingly poignant ass. "Apologize with a kiss. One for each insult!"

Teemo goes to kiss Taliyah's right buttox when suddenly a giagantic pulsing ball of flesh excreted out of Taliyah's rectum and hit Teemo in the face like a boxing glove.

"Oh my hemorrhoids! How embarrassing… Could you push them back up for me Teemo? Preferably with your tongue?"

"Man, Taliyah, you're a real pain in the butt!" Teemo jokes.

Taliyah laughed uncontrollably for a couple seconds and stomped, propelling the earth up with Teemo, giving him a faceful of her anal vessels, sending the assteroids back into Taliyah's rectum.

It was a win-win, Teemo was in heaven and Taliyah was punishing a wrong-doer and will be recognized. Maybe Tristana's advice is working after all!

Temmo absent-mindedly humped the ground, lost in pleasure. He mumbled almost inocherently, "God I'm such a shit-eating faggot…."

A wretched smile stretches across Taliyah's face. "I heard that slut. You eat shit, Teemo? Well I just had the biggest meal today and…"

[SCENE MISSING]

With Taliyah's stomach much lighter and Teemo's full of cocoa pebbles, Taliyah proceeded onto other forms of depraved fetishism.

Taliyah made the ground underneath Teemo unstable, launching him towards her as she spreads her legs.

The yeast-rich cootchie crust was as tough as a rock. "Spit shine it, bitch," Taliyah commanded and locked Teemo in place with rocks. Teemo murred, his eyes rolling back into his head as his tongue was blessed with the savory rocky crust of Taliyah's cunt.

"You're more useless than my ultimate you pathetic little cuck," Taliyah sneered and slapped him across the face. "Clean it proper, " Taliyah obliged and salivating so much that her rocky crust was reduced to mud that dribbled down her thighs and his lips. He swallowed every drop until she glistened.

Satisfied, Taliyah stood and towered over Teemo. "Good boy. You deserve a reward. What's your favorite ice cream flavor Teemo?" With brisk motion of her body, Taliyah raised stone from the ground and encased her feet in razor-sharp high heels."Because mines… Rocky Chode." Taliyah sneered as she began to crush Teemo's delicates under her feet inflicting grievous wounds on Teemo for the rest of his life.

"T-thank you mistress…" Teemo wheezed happily as he cupped his lil' mushroom.

"Shut the fuck up," Taliyah pressed her heels to his head, pushing it down low and his ass propped up. "

Teemo giggled. "You're so dominant now, Taliyah. But…" he grinned wickedly, excitedly clenching and unclenching his yordle-hole for what was guaranteed to happen after his next words, "...did you know that Epstein killed himself?"

It was like a switch flipped inside Taliyah. (Excluding her beautiful skin) everything went white. Her fists clenched into fists, and clumps of rocks floated around her. "No he fucking DIDN'T!" Taliyah roared, causing the rocks to launch and attach to her crotch. They formed themselves into a stone phallus so large that it put blue buff golem to shame.

"Yeah baby that's what I'm talking about!" Teemo shouted in glee and farted. Taliyah snarled in rage. "I'll fuck you harder than the game devs fucked my stupid bitch-ass kit," she roared as the Cock of Rock plunged deep inside Teemo's mushroom cave.

Teemo was in painful bliss as his insides were stretched and torn by sharp rocky texture.

"And they say earth drilling is unethical." Taliyah joked sadistically.

"It's unethical how much of an unlikable cunt you are Taliyah." Teemo moaned, egging her on.

Taliyah responded by enlarging her stone stallion two-fold, stretching Teemo's yordlehole to ridiculous proportions.

"You have over ten fucking skins and you arent even that good!" Taliyah screamed as she laid into Teemo, hate-fucking the yordle in submission.

"All my skins are garbage…" Teemo lavished "but at least I have more than two."

Taliyah screamed and jammed her stony dick so far inside Teemo that he coughed up pebbles. "Yaaaaas…" Teemo moaned like a slutty bitch as his Yordle cheeks were clapped by the rocky phallus over and over again.

"Faster!" Teemo begged. Taliyah grinned and hoisted him up with her rock strapon and walked over beside a wall. Her passive kicked in and she was able to rut him at a much faster pace.

Teemo reached to stroke his little throbbing yordlehood. Taliyah was performing far better than he could have hoped, but yet he needed to push just a little more to fully satisfy his cravings. "Hey Taliyah," Teemo called back with a smirk, "Not bad, but...you're not all that you were 'rocked' up to be!"

Taliyah's nostrils flared and her nose bled. "Oh fuck off you yordle TWAT!" Taliyah snarled and jammed her stony chocolate puncher to the max inside Teemo. The action aroused her so much that her pussy juices flooded the rocks, churning the insides into goopy mud that flooded Teemo's internals like hot sticky cum.

"Mmmm ya baby, let it all out…" Teemo whimpered is bliss as his yordlehood oozed bloody cum.

Taliyah's heaving breaths slowed. She smiled wickedly to herself. "Yes! This was just what I needed. There's nothing wrong with my kit! Just my attitude. Now nothing can stop me!"

Teemo rolled around happily in the muddy, sticky mixture at his hands and feet. "Yeah Taliyah, I guess you could say I really...got your rocks off!"

Taliyah blinked, stared at Teemo, summoned a dagger-shaped dagger to her hand, and slit her own throat.

"NO!" Teemo screamed as he ran over to his new master. After everything that happened to Teemo, he was at a sweet, succulent 1 HP. As he tried to force-feed Taliyah a red potion, he saw the blue light of Karthus shining above his head. With a quick strike, the blue bolt vaporized the cum-soaked yordle, instantly killing him.

omg report taliyah 4v5 trash champ rage quit

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